how to annoy people

just to lighten things up a bit...

How to Annoy Coworkers
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
Find out where your boss shops, and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you.)
Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."
Send email to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
Hi-lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive Liquid. Call everyone Madge.
Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee, a printout, whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
Put a chair facing the printer. Sit there all day, and tell people you're waiting on your printout.
Every time someone asks you to do something--anything--ask them if they want fries with that.
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."
Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
Send email messages saying there's free pizza, donuts, or cake in the break room. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Ohh, you've got to be faster than that!"
Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
Run one lap around the office at top speed.
Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"
Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
Walk sideways to the photcopier.
While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that? I don't want to have to repeat it."
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'.
Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do number two".
After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamacian accent. As in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, dang it--all of you!"
In a colleagues daytimer, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"
Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) during a very important conference call.
Don an apron, find the vacuum, and start vacuuming around your desk.
Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets.

How to Annoy Fellow Flight Passengers
Find common interests. Ask, "Are you in the Witness Protection Program too?"
Tell your fellow passenger that you just heard the bathrooms were out-of-order. Then pause and say, "Did you know that peanuts are a natural diuretic?" Smile.
Call the stewardess "nurse".
Sport a kamikaze helmet and goggles. Speak in a low voice into a hand held tape recorder: "Today's date, December 7th, 1941. I was not able to command my own personal plane but success shall still be ours...."
Yell out, "John Lithgow is on the wing!"
Speak in Spelling Bee-eese: "Hello. H-e-l-l-o. Hello. Nice weather we're having isn't it? Weather. W-e-a-t-h-e-r. Weather."
Start singing the Shari Lewis theme, "This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because, this is the song that never ends...." Suddenly realize that you can never stop singing. Become very panicky. Scrawl "Help me" on a piece of paper and hand it to the person sitting next to you. Claw at your throat and thrash around in the seat. Never stop singing.
Continually offer to share your "Beano".
Decorate. Bring a scatter rug and tiny draperies. Hang a "Home Sweet Home" plaque on the back of the seat in front of you. Invite your fellow passengers in for tea.
Suddenly remember that you left your iron on. Ask if the pilot would mind going back so you can check.
Bring your computer keyboard without a monitor. Place it on your lap. Stare into the palm of your hand. Wait. Push the return key a few times. Yell out "Yes! Alright! I told them I didn't need a laptop!" Plug the headphones into your nostril and play DOOM.
Bring a duffel bag packed with pipe cleaners, styrofoam balls, construction paper, etc. Organize a "Kraft Korner". Make a craft likeness of the person sitting next to you. Give yourself an "F".
Say, "Did you know every time a plane crashes, an angel gets its wings?" Then sigh and stare dreamily into the clouds.
Snap Polaroids of him or her. Pull out an empty photo album and arrange the pictures inside it. Tuck the album under your jacket and say, "You know, in some cultures they believe that when you take a person's photograph...you own their soul...," while smiling maniacally.
Bring a cellular phone. Call God. Say, "The reception is much clearer up here...."
Speak in an incredibly fake Australian accent. Call the person "mate". Tell them you're not used to seeing the sky, since you are from "Down Under". Keep repeating quotes from "Crocodile Dundee," such as "That's not a knife! That's a knife!", until they are forced to yell at you that you are not Australian. Call them prejudiced.
Bring a "Word-a-Day" calendar on board with you. Read every single word aloud and attempt to use it in a sentence. Use them all incorrectly. "'My, you have a very irate home,' she said governessly."
Lean back in your seat, fold your arms behind your head and exclaim, "Thank God for auto-pilot, eh?"

How to Annoy The IRS
Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples on the right side.
Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side.)
Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in you forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, send a two or three party check. On top of paying with a third party check, pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.
Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a supermarket sack.
When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.
If you send two checks, they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.
Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.
Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to be verified and then date stamped.
These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with the IRS. These methods are ONLY recommended when you OWE money.

How to Annoy Other Drivers
Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
Two words: Chicken suit.
Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
Stop at the green lights.
Go at the red ones.
Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
Eat food that requires silverware.
Pass cars, then drive very slowly.
Sing without having the radio on.
Honk frequently without motivation.
Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.
Ask people for Grey Poupon.
Let pedestrians know who's boss.
Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
Restart your car at every stop light.
Hang numerous car fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them; stroking them lovingly.
Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.
While stopped at a light, pee out the window/sunroof onto other cars.
Paint your car with occult symbols.
Keep at least five cats in the car.
Root for firetrucks.
Stop and collect roadkill.
Stop and pray to roadkill.
Throw Spam.
Get in the fast lane and gradually ... slow ... down ... to ... a ...stop. Then get out and watch the cars.

How to Annoy People
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
type only in lowercase.
don t use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets..
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

How to Annoy People in Elevators
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
Crack open your briefcase or purse and, while peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there?"
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, then announce: "I've got new socks on!". Meow occasionally.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Bring a camera, and take pictures of everyone.
Move your desk into the elevator, and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
Leave a box in a corner and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, "did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic. They'll open up again."
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "GROUP HUG!" and enforce it.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you're on.
Hold the doors open, and say that you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg, how's your day been?"
Drop a pen, and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, and then scream "That's mine!"

How to Annoy Wal-Mart Employees

(Actually titled 50 Ways to Have Fun in Wal-Mart, but I'm sure all these things WOULD annoy employees! Plus some more have been added.)

Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in narrow aisles.
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
Play with the automatic doors.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"
Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Put M&M's on layaway.
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
TP as much of the store as possible.
Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
Take bets on the battle described above.
Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
Hold indoor shopping cart races.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."
Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
Two words: "Marco Polo."
Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
"Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.
Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons.
Try on bras over top of your clothes.
Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me !! pick me!!" and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

*BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.

How to Annoy Women
[Wife] Call her by the dog's name and then deny it.
Superglue the commode seat in the up position.
Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she thinks that she's gaining weight, give her a condescending smile and say that you prefer her with some meat on her bones.
[Wife] Call her by your mother's name and then deny it.
Start a conversation with the dog in the middle of one with her.
Buy her power tools for Valentine's Day.
Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery.
Pretend you forgot how to speak English.
Answer every question with "Yes, dear." (Use with caution as PMS is a valid murder defense in many states.)

How to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmates
Stick your palms under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
Say, "Dang, this water is cold."
Drop a marble and say, "Oh crap...my glass eye!"
Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
Grunt and strain for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of about 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
Say, "Now how did that get there?"
In your best Letterman voice mumble, "Hummus. Reminds me of Humus."
Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
Say, "Interesting, more floaters than sinkers."
Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please."
Fill a balloon with creamed corn .. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter creamed corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the Coke, Tylenol, and sardines you had for breakfast.
Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
Say, "Dang, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
Read the graffiti on the walls out loud. Answer each one with, "Hmmm, yeah!" Every so often ask, "Is this YOUR number?"
Yell, and pretend to have a conversation with someone in the adjoining women's bathroom.
Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
Desperately yell, "HEY! Could I get some toilet paper here!!!" Then mutter, "Where IS that bathroom attendant?! ...Mom?!"
Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-Boo!"

tags: humor

wow, this page is more readable!

so I changed my template. now I'm using "minima" which does the job and I was getting tired of that big ol' orange "jellyfish" thing. as blogger warned, it wiped out all my javascript. oh well, no great loss. we're flexible, right? I can easily find what I need and fix it again. I'm thinking of changing the name of this blog too, but I forgot the idea I had. expect changes!

tags: blog, gtd

Toookie Williams, Death Row, and Redemption.

much can be said pro and con re capital punishment. but let's strip away some of of the gray areas - race and economic inequality, mental capacity, possible rehabilitation, doubt of guilt. let's take a hypothetical case where the subject admits guilt of a heinous crime, has no remorse, has gotten superb legal representation and is a white male. in other words, an ideal candidate for execution.
so the argument for death is based on justice - he has commited a crime that cannot be forgiven by society, he is in fact a mistake of the human race and must be destroyed. but would it be possible to advance the state of human society by not having the government kill this individual in cold blood? remember, in the prevailing attitude of "karmic justice" terms he doesn't deserve to live -- he killed his victims in cold blood and they weren't given a chance or choice to live out their natural lives, so why should he?
my answer is that he should be given life without possibility of parole. we've taken away most of his physical freedom right there. but what about the "coddling" of prisoners and all their rights? picture our lifer subject's normal daily schedule: wake up, have breakfast in bed, catch the latest news and sports on the radio (maybe Howard Stern if he can get satellite), chat with neighbors, go work out in the gym, shower and maybe get a "woman", have lunch, watch tv, dinner, read, etc... doesn't seem fair to the victims, does it?
ok, this is not what I envision in life without parole. instead, I envision a prison environment where only the most basic necessities are provided. there are plenty of things that can be taken away for the purpose of "punishment". nobody has to be cruel and it won't be unusual -- they just don't get much of what they want. my guess is this is what occurs in many prisons around the world.
the one freedom that I would grant these lifers that they do not currently have easy access to is the ability to take their own life. each cell could be provided with a special firearm - maybe a 12 gauge barrel embedded in the wall. just "insert head here" and pull trigger. easy as flushing the toilet! let people deal with their own demons. this would be the only esape and the state washes its hands of responsibility. if the individuals truly can redeem themselves in jail, then they never need use such a device.
call me "pro-choice", but I believe this would be an advancement in American society and mankind in turn.

tags: capital+punishment death+penalty Tookie terminator Schwarzenegger

womb to tomb

life: a temporary illusion we experience as "individuals"

my seven year old had a facts of life question the other evening. not "where do babies come from?", rather, "where do babies come out?". I didn't have a good answer so just said "out of a woman's privates". being in the full-blown potty humor stage he asked "out her butt!?"...

"no", said I, "another place...". I searched for a good response that wouldn't fuel his seven year old joke generator. 'birth canal' just didn't sound right. luckily he lost interest at that point, a little disappointed that babies don't pop out of ladies butts along with the poo.

later I thought of the word I had been looking for: womb. sure! I could even tell him a little joke about the baby who had a "womb with a view" (which would go over his head and hopefully I wouldn't need to explain what "view" implies). so maybe next time the topic comes up...

anyway, it got me to think more about being in the womb.
that period before separation from the mother must be the most comfortable state I can possibly recall. (though they say it is quite impossible to remember, the habits and patterns started there give us some hint of how comfortable it must be). but before that separation and even before conception, the comfort of being an integral part of whatever energy and matter that is morphing into an eventual new life evidenced by birth (a necessary separation dictated by evolution) -- that comfort level must be heavenly. Imagine all your atoms happily bonded, your electrons snuggly tucked away in their shells. sublime, eh?

so a return to that heaven is, I suppose, as inevitable as death and taxes. and I'm not so sure about taxes anymore :)

top 100 novels of the 20th century (1923 to present)

here's my status on each of the novels:
(btw, I'll email you my .xls version of this list on request)...

Title	Author	Status
The Adventures of Augie March	Saul Bellow
All the King's Men	Robert Penn Warren
American Pastoral	Philip Roth
An American Tragedy	Theodore Dreiser
Animal Farm	George Orwell	started
Appointment in Samarra	John O'Hara
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret	Judy Blume
The Assistant	Bernard Malamud
At Swim-Two-Birds	Flann O'Brien
Atonement	Ian McEwan
Beloved	Toni Morrison
The Berlin Stories	Christopher Isherwood
The Big Sleep	Raymond Chandler
The Blind Assassin	Margaret Atwood
Blood Meridian	Cormac McCarthy
Brideshead Revisited	Evelyn Waugh
The Bridge of San Luis Rey	Thornton Wilder
Call It Sleep	Henry Roth
Catch-22	Joseph Heller	saw movie
The Catcher in the Rye	J.D. Salinger	read
A Clockwork Orange	Anthony Burgess	read
The Confessions of Nat Turner	William Styron
The Corrections	Jonathan Franzen	unfinished
The Crying of Lot 49	Thomas Pynchon
A Dance to the Music of Time	Anthony Powell
The Day of the Locust	Nathanael West	started
Death Comes for the Archbishop	Willa Cather
A Death in the Family	James Agee
The Death of the Heart	Elizabeth Bowen
Deliverance	James Dickey	saw movie
Dog Soldiers	Robert Stone
Falconer	John Cheever
The French Lieutenant's Woman	John Fowles
The Golden Notebook	Doris Lessing
Go Tell it on the Mountain	James Baldwin
Gone With the Wind	Margaret Mitchell	saw movie
The Grapes of Wrath	John Steinbeck	started
Gravity's Rainbow	Thomas Pynchon
The Great Gatsby	F. Scott Fitzgerald	read
A Handful of Dust	Evelyn Waugh
The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter	Carson McCullers
The Heart of the Matter	Graham Greene
Herzog	Saul Bellow	started
Housekeeping	Marilynne Robinson
A House for Mr. Biswas	V.S. Naipaul	audio
I, Claudius	Robert Graves
Infinite Jest	David Foster Wallace
Invisible Man	Ralph Ellison	read
Light in August	William Faulkner
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe	C.S. Lewis	read
Lolita	Vladimir Nabokov	read
Lord of the Flies	William Golding	read
The Lord of the Rings	J.R.R. Tolkien	unfinished, saw movies
Loving	Henry Green
Lucky Jim	Kingsley Amis
The Man Who Loved Children	Christina Stead
Midnight's Children	Salman Rushdie
Money	Martin Amis
The Moviegoer	Walker Percy
Mrs. Dalloway	Virginia Woolf	started
Naked Lunch	William Burroughs
Native Son	Richard Wright
Neuromancer	William Gibson	started
Never Let Me Go	Kazuo Ishiguro
1984	George Orwell	read
On the Road	Jack Kerouac	started
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest	Ken Kesey	read
The Painted Bird	Jerzy Kosinski
Pale Fire	Vladimir Nabokov
A Passage to India	E.M. Forster
Play It As It Lays	Joan Didion
Portnoy's Complaint	Philip Roth	started
Possession	A.S. Byatt
The Power and the Glory	Graham Greene
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie	Muriel Spark
Rabbit, Run	John Updike
Ragtime	E.L. Doctorow
The Recognitions	William Gaddis
Red Harvest	Dashiell Hammett
Revolutionary Road	Richard Yates
The Sheltering Sky	Paul Bowles
Slaughterhouse-Five	Kurt Vonnegut	read
Snow Crash	Neal Stephenson
The Sot-Weed Factor	John Barth
The Sound and the Fury	William Faulkner
The Sportswriter	Richard Ford
The Spy Who Came in From the Cold	John le Carre
The Sun Also Rises	Ernest Hemingway	read
Their Eyes Were Watching God	Zora Neale Hurston
Things Fall Apart	Chinua Achebe
To Kill a Mockingbird	Harper Lee	read
To the Lighthouse	Virginia Woolf
Tropic of Cancer	Henry Miller
Ubik	Philip K. Dick
Under the Net	Iris Murdoch
Under the Volcano	Malcolm Lowry	saw movie
Watchmen	Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons
White Noise	Don DeLillo
White Teeth	Zadie Smith
Wide Sargasso Sea	Jean Rhys
	total read:	12
	total did something with:	27

boycott sony

here's the details
sign the petition
I wasn't planning on buying a PS/3 anyway... but now nobody should buy 'em! for a while anyway :)

where do croissants come from?

see pop'n'fresh doughboy's accident... click on the link in the title because I obviously don't know enough about copying html to get the video to work here (hey you experts, how about helpin' a guy out here - why doesn't it show below? - is the owner of the filename I'm referencing not allowing a download or what?)

just for yucks...

I posted a pic of me self on HOT or NOT.
let's see if others think I'm as hot as I think I am. feel free to vote!

perfect male scents...

since I accidently broke my (amost full) bottle of Obsession,
I tracked down some replacement recommendations which I will share here:

Perfect? I love Romeo Gigli Cologne by Romeo Gigli... and Fahrenheit by Christian Dior but whether they are perfect for men...

Fiona 4/4/2004 6:09 AM
allessandro dell'aqua for man is my best for now. it's very organised and i feel it's like bracing air. i like moderate ones for men.

Frederique 4/5/2004 12:50 AM
what about... Aqua di Parma?

Taner 4/6/2004 2:47 PM
Well I just put on some Venezia -Uomo while reading forum, I liked it very much for the first few seconds so why not.
I would say Very Sexy from Victoria Secret is also very tempting, not same kind of alchemy though.

Lobna 4/7/2004 7:41 PM
D&G has one that smells... intoxicating.. i love it- but i dont know what its called -one of my guy friends had it on

Frederique 4/8/2004 1:21 AM
D&G... Does it come in a silver top bottle, with a light greenish colour perfume?

Does it smell fresh, lemony and musky at the same time?
It could be D&G Masculin.

Indeed it is lovely.

Do you also know Déclaration by Cartier?
I'm sure you'd like it.

Carla 4/11/2004 7:33 PM
Definetly Chaleur D'Animale for men,it's devine!The best male scent ever!

Lobna 4/12/2004 7:31 PM
that sounds like it, i mainly remember that it was strong- reminded me of aramis

Anna 5/19/2004 3:06 PM
I really like Angel for Men. My husband uses that exclusively ever since it came out.

5/24/2004 1:12 AM
i still have to turn my head and follow the scent with my nose when i recognize it in any man in the street,Kouros, my unique, great and lost love's perfume (although he used it in excessive amounts and gave me headaches :OP)
here are my favs: 6/12/2004 9:01 PM
1) Kenzo pour homme (to DIE for)
NOTES: Marine, Cloves, Nutmeg, Sandalwood, Vetiver

2) Dior - Fahrenheit
NOTES: Hawthorn, Sandalwood

3) Dolce & Gabbana - pour homme
NOTES: Orange, Lemon, Bergamot, Lavender, Sage, Sandalwood, Tobacco, Cedar.

J. 6/23/2004 11:21 AM
Angel for men & Xerius Rouge Givenchy

Celso Issey Miyake 6/23/2004 4:27 PM
The best male scent is definetly L'eau D'issey by Issey Miyake, it's like THE parfume!!

Raquel 6/23/2004 8:59 PM
My favorite one is Boss in Motion- Hugo Boss...... it´s outstanding.
I also really like Ferrari Black and 212

Katrin 6/25/2004 4:07 AM
Laura Biagotti "Roma"...uhh it makes me crazy:)

Cha L´Eau d´Issey 6/28/2004 4:36 AM
That´s my favorite.

Juan 6/28/2004 11:24 PM
"Envy" by Gucci!

Cha Found out.... 7/2/2004 12:53 AM
that the "brand new" Polo Blue is really gooooooooooooooooooood!

Marta GREAT ONES 7/2/2004 9:26 PM
i love Mont Blanc (but just a few men wear it) and also a MOSCHINO, just don't know exactly which one...

L'eau d'Issey - Issey Miyake 7/8/2004 3:43 PM
simply wonderful!...

Le Male! 7/9/2004 7:21 AM
I idolatre "Le Male", from Jean-Paul Gaultier... I just LOVE that one... geeeeez, it seems to me that i feel that fragrance in the air...

Leonardo 7/10/2004 6:08 PM
Definitly the best parfum is Escada

Roberta 7/12/2004 7:43 AM
I simply love Carolina Herrera 212 for Men and Hugo Boss Elements. Polo Blue is also amazing! They are very sexy fragances...

Heloisa 8/12/2004 3:15 PM
It depends..... Herrera for men -by Carolina Herrera

DKNY for men - Donna Karan

Armani pour Homme - Giorgio Armani

Fendi- Uommo

CK - Calvin Klein
it depends who is wearing it!

Samara 8/12/2004 5:03 PM
oh I just LOVE Hugo Boss #1 and Angel for men

Berit simply the best.. 8/17/2004 5:08 AM
...perfume for men is carolina herrera 212, mmmmm all time favourite:P

Paula One of the best! 8/17/2004 11:10 AM
In my opinion, one of the best male scents is XS, by Pacco Rabane!

Cavanhaque HUMNN... 8/17/2004 11:16 AM
Aqua di Giò pour homme and Kenzo!!
:-)

Onaiza 8/21/2004 10:13 AM
Issey Miyake !!!!!!!! and ice berg isnt bad too !
perfect for the ones who seek for perfection!;)

Le Male is Incontestable !!! 10/20/2004 10:54 AM
Le Male by Gaultier is the best male scent in the "world of parfums" !!!

Will 12/16/2004 9:56 PM
MY TOP 4 cologne picks as of now ******
#1 . Aqua di Parma/BLU/Mandorlo di Sicilia

#2. Himalaya ( House of CREED )

#3. Comme des Garcon INCENSE series #3
"Avignon" it smells just like
a catholic church after they burn the Frankencense !!!! Totally UNIQUE !!!!!

#4. L'Occitane Vetiver !!!! YUM.
earthy but classy .

Gustavo 12/17/2004 9:04 AM
i dont know.. i really like my fahrenheit...

but.. this thing is not very exactly as we want it to be... each perfume has an unique smell for each person... not even talkin about personal taste...

dont you think?

Usama 212 rocks 12/18/2004 3:06 PM
212's the best ................
coz its soo strong so gd so awesome..........i mean u just have to smell it to fall in love wit it
TRY it seriously

Carla 12/19/2004 7:01 AM
Escada Magnetism, Jill Sander, Chemistry by Clinique and Marc Jacobs for men.
platinum egoiste and d&g 12/22/2004 3:33 PM
chanel egoiste platinum! i can't tell if it's better than chanel egoiste non plat (which is harder to find, and more of an older man smell). platinum works well on guys who don't naturally have much smell of their own. (or in my experience- tall, skinny guys). it is SO YUMMY.

oh and d&g masculin is very good too. but i always associate it with this one guy i'm not attracted to- i think this works best on those that are a bit on the trashy side (with pretensions of elegance).
1/27/2005 5:01 AM
platinum egoiste by chanel and 1881 by cerutti!

Monica Safari, by Ralph Lauren 1/28/2005 2:52 AM
For me, Safari´s scent is unbeatable.If only all men could smell like this one! Pity I cannot have it always around - my husband is allergic to perfumes...

Le Male and Joop! (the red one) are second best. But not for men - I wear them!
I like... 1/28/2005 11:56 AM
Dolce & Gabanna pour homme
Mont Blanc Individuel pour homme
Herrera for men by Carolina Herrera
what do you think about l'instant pour homme? 2/15/2005 2:12 AM
i was just wondering about whether some of you or your partners are using the new guerlain l'instant pour homme... i thought it was surprisingly very sweet...


Jazzmin I just love it... 2/16/2005 7:28 PM
the best male scent is and always will be aqua di gio..... =)

Stephanie 2/19/2005 10:02 PM
I Think D&G
and 212

Suzanne 2/20/2005 11:59 PM
another vote for acqua di parma

i wear the classic one myself...

HELENA-REET For Men 3/22/2005 1:07 PM
I like Chanel "Platinum Egoiste"!

Patricia 3/23/2005 1:26 PM
Lolita Lempicka for Men, top best...sexy...delicious...

Ulli 3/26/2005 2:23 AM
For men..there's nth better than Higher Dior and Aqua Di Gio.I really love them!

Arsalan 3/26/2005 5:02 AM
Aqua Di Gio and hugo boss i like them

Sarah 6/8/2005 7:17 AM
HhhMmmm.... I really like

1. curve (liz calirborne)
2. very sexy (victorias secret)
3. armani (armani)

seriously, any guy who uses these perfumes, automatically looks hot..lol!

Usman hummm 6/14/2005 11:40 PM
1 . Aqua di Parma
2. safarai...

Wen KenzoAir 6/19/2005 10:47 PM
i am wearing it myself, i love it!

Shama 6/21/2005 4:43 AM
Safari.....
and and and
Blue Jeans

Zuraida 6/21/2005 5:15 AM
HUGO red for men and another all time fav is cool water by davidoff

Carlinha 6/23/2005 9:21 AM
Hugo Boss and 212 Men...
issey miyake! 6/25/2005 7:50 AM
i think itz da best

...so I gave my wife the list for her to choose what she likes best on me. I'll find out on Christmas. in the meantime, feel free to share your opinions with a comment below...

what matters...

something I came across and lifted (I'd give credit but don't know to whom, so instead I'll just share):

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, and sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

why I'm not posting (latest excuse)...

"Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something."

- Plato

having fun in los angeles

oh for the decadent life! it doesn't look too hard to do this stuff. well, you can enjoy it vicariously if you have other responsibilities (as I do)...
just check out cobrasnake. dude's got it pumping with his camera. btw, I broke my canon (yes another one). wisely, this last one was purchased with an extended warrantee from ritz camera at the local mall -- the warantee covers damages from almost anything. usually I drop the things and they don't handle that well. anyway, the replacement (or fixed) equipage s/b back sometime in novembre. meanwhiles, I'm clipping others photos fer fun. laterz!

a nazi speaks (something to think about)...

From an interview with Herman Goehring, an early member of the Nazi party, founder of the Gestapo, and one of the main perpetrators of Nazi Germany:

Goehring: "Why, of course, the people don't want war. Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece. Naturally, the common people don't want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship."

Gilbert: "There is one difference. In a democracy, the people have some say in the matter through their elected representatives, and in the United States only Congress can declare wars."

Goehring: "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

yes this blog is not dead and I still post

no excuses (because like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink) for my lack of activity on this blog. I'm currently working on passing my first microsoft test on the way to MCAD (and possibly MCSD) certification. this is a career move, a little strategic planning, something to keep my options open, keeping my skills up to date in a concrete manner. while many pooh-pooh certifications as not reflecting real world quality, typically there is nothing better to go by and many small companies need a certain number of microsoft certified people on board to keep their "MCP" status - which in turn drives business to those companies. that's all for now, I've got other priorities, but did want to break the silence with some kind of posting. laterz!

back from the midwest...

so we had an eating and drinking tour of three states. first we rented a new Chrysler Pacifica from Enterprise and my wife fell in love with it. so now we need to buy one. clever marketing eh? we drove to visit family outside Milwaukee where the beer flows freely, and either the Packers or Harley Davidson (not sure which) is king. beautiful country farms are being replaced by golf courses and houses, but that's progress. went to a big nice wedding and reception where pretty girls did dirty dancing to tunes like "save a horse, ride a cowboy". what fun!
next stop was a farm in central Illinois. kinda nowhere - just a ways east of Peoria. here, beyond the fun of riding in trucks and tractors and learning about the latest in hybrid corn seed technology (genetic pesticides in our future!) the big thing (to some anyway) is surprisingly - art. I discovered the magic of watercolor painting and the thriving community of talent doing exhibitions around the country. so I spent about 4 hours in a nice studio pencil sketching, stroking a sable hair brush and learning basic techniques. cheap fun and time consuming - which I guess is a good thing to do while the crops grow.
next we hit Chicago and searched out great pizza, hot dogs, gyros, and pastries. and of course beer -- I think the highlight for the kids was being allowed in the bar on the 96th floor of the Hancock building and having cocktails (O'Douls and a virgin pina colada). they were totally unimpressed, however, by Renior, Picasso, Van Gogh, Dali, etc. at the Art Institute.
last stop was Chesterton, Indiana for a memorial service. alcohol here is no fun -- can't buy it on Sunday and on other days it's only sold warm and who knows what else... kinda like Salt Lake City. we did have fun pigging out on WhiteCastle burgers. a first for all of us as I don't think they exist in California (but I could be wrong). the counter guy had a record of eating 24 burgers in one sitting, but I settled on six at a time.
update: added links -- pics later (counter = 2378)...

I'm off to the midwest...

...for a road trip in search of beer, brats, pizza and fun. Chicago, Milwaukee, Indiana and thereabouts. the awesome family has some serious partying to attend to. so don't expect any new posts 'till after labor day. in the meanwhile, please spend 30 seconds perusing and considering my prior posts. there is enough meat there to think about... laterz!

p.s. my web counter now says 2192.

in the future...

...all Americans will downsize as gas climbs to $8/gallon.

intelligent design and AI...

first let me say that I admire Bush. I admire the money, power, and influence he has. I admire his ability to lead a team and motivate, despite his all too human imperfections. what I don't admire is the policies and ideas that he promotes. oftentimes they are just wrong. if only he had put his pandering talents to good use! his remarks about teaching 'intelligent design' in schools is a good example. an article in the May 30 New Yorker describes pretty well "why intelligent design isn't"... basically there's no science to back it up. read the article first if you want to disagree with me.

so evolution (a very well tested and established theory) is the answer. what are scientists doing with it? I've been reading pretty awesome stuff about artificial life - philosophy and computing intermix to show where our real future may lie. Tom Ray is one of the pioneers in this area who has gone quite far in creating "virtual life" which at some point is equivalent to what the dictionary constitues "life".

in "Recent Developments in Biologically Inspired Computing"
by Leandro Nunes de Castro and Fernando J. Von Zuben states:

according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, life is:

“The state of a material complex or individual characterized by the capacity to perform certain functional activities including metabolism, growth, reproduction, and some form of responsiveness or adaptability.”

Life is seen as the result of a complex material organization that performs some specific tasks. Such a definition does not say anything about this organization; it only considers life as a cluster of properties (growth, self-reproduction …). Such definitions are common. In the field of artificial life, the most famous cluster definition is that of Farmer and Belin, who selected eight criteria (Farmer & Belin, 1992, p. 818):

Life is a pattern in space-time.

Self-reproduction.

Information storage of a self-representation.

Metabolism.

Functional interactions with the environment.

Interdependence of parts.

Stability under perturbations.

Ability to evolve.

Ray’s results have been sufficiently impressive to give rise to comments such as:

“From a purely logical point of view, the barrier between life and artificial life seemed to have come down: the universality of life was proven” (Adami, 1998, p. 49).

C. Emmeche examined Ray’s creatures according to Farmer and Belin’s eight criteria (Emmeche, 1994, pp. 43-46):

Ray’s creatures are information structures rather than material objects.

They are able to self-reproduce.

They have self-representation.

They have some kind of metabolism since they redistribute some of the computer’s electrical energy.

They have functional interactions with their environment.

Their components are mutually interdependent and they can die.

They are stable in their environment.

They can evolve.

According to Emmeche, only the properties 2 (self-reproduction is essentially formal; it does not consume any “matter”), 4 (is it reasonable to consider alterations of electromagnetic states as a metabolism?) and 7 (the considered stability is very weak) are not fully satisfied.

The question here is not to say that Ray’s creatures are “quite living,” but to point out that such a construction satisfies many of the intuitive properties of life.

References:
Adami, C. (1998). Introduction to artificial life. New York: Springer-Verlag.

Emmeche, C. (1994). The garden in the machine. The emerging science of artificial life. Princeton: Princeton University Press.

Farmer, J., & Belin, A. (1992). Artificial life: The coming evolution. In C.G.Langton (Ed.), Artificial life II (pp. 815-840). Redwood City: Addison-Wesley.

so man is the intelligent designer. reminds me of Genesis 1:27 - "God made man in his image". they didn't teach this when I went to school!

an even farther out solution for the oil crisis (planet of the apes anyone?)...

excerpts from "UFOS AND THE NEW PHYSICS"
By Kim Burrafato
in conversation with
Jack Sarfatti, Ph.D.

It's no wonder that most scientists consider the subject of UFOs patently absurd and not worthy of serious discussion. Can modern physics ever hope explain the UFO phenomenon to fit within the current world view? Or is an entirely new physics required? This article will address the question "If UFOs are real, then how do they work?"...

...Theoretical subtleties inherent within Einstein's general theory of relativity (gravity) and quantum mechanics may hold the answer. If it is possible to physically alter or deform four-dimensional space-time, then a kind of space-time tunnel, or time travel gate, can be constructed. In current physics, such theoretical tunnels are known as traversable wormholes.

Cal Tech physicists Kip Thorne and Michael Morris, along with Igor Novikov of Moscow State University and others, have published a number of papers in the prestigious Physical Review on the physics of time travel and traversable wormholes. A traversable wormhole is literally a shortcut through both space and time.

An advanced extraterrestrial civilization , capable of cosmic-scale engineering, could conceivably fabricate traversable wormhole time travel gates, where their starships would enter a wormhole in one region of space- time, and pop out in another extremely distant region of space-time.

According to the equations of general relativity, one of the mouths of the wormhole has to accelerate away from the other mouth to a very high speed close to that of light and then return. If you step into the mouth that accelerates and returns, you will step out the other end into the relative past of when you entered. If you step into the unaccelerated mouth and leave through the accelerated one, you will jump into the relative future. That is, if you had an identical twin who did not go through the wormhole, your twin would be older than you.

How do you create a traversable wormhole time machine? Theoretical physicist Jack Sarfatti, has also been working on that question. A self-described "rogue scholar," Sarfatti has had a long association with fringe science. He and Michael Murphy organized and led the first Physics of Consciousness Seminars at the Esalen Institute back in 1974, sponsored by former human potential movement superstar turned pariah, Werner Erhard. Those Esalen seminars spawned an entirely new genre of pop science literature, known as "The New Physics" -- of which the recent best seller by Deepak Chopra, Quantum Healing, is but one example.

Sarfatti's unorthodox theories on faster-than-light (superluminal) communication continue to raise hackles among the more conservative physics mainstream. When it comes to traversable wormhole time machines, Sarfatti speculates that so-called dark matter, which may comprise over 90% of the mass of the universe, could provide an answer.

This elusive matter has so far remained unobservable directly by conventional methods employing photons of electromagnetic radiation. Yet, its gravitational effects on ordinary matter are observed indirectly. "If dark matter moves around in the imaginary time of quantum gravity, then it would be difficult for it to emit any photons, even if it wasn't electrically neutral. So, we wouldn't expect to see it through optical telescopes," Sarfatti explains.

...A strong case has been made that after over 30 years of searching for extraterrestrial intelligence (SETI), we just have not observed the kind of infra-red and electromagnetic signals that a number of prominent scientists believe would be characteristic of an advanced extraterrestrial civilization capable of cosmic scale engineering and interstellar expansion. So, at this point in the evolution of the universe, humanity may truly be alone. That fact weakens the case for UFOs being purely extraterrestrial in origin from advanced alien civilizations much older than our own. If UFOs are not extraterrestrial, then what are they? Sarfatti suspects

"They could be terrestrial time ships, originating from our own future. In which case, their motivation might be to interfere in their own past in order to assure their own coming into being in a globally and logically self-consistent way."

...Sarfatti speculates that UFOs could be employing some kind of "paradox engine," or "curvature generator." By continually generating paradoxes, this engine would force nature to avoid paradox by releasing inexhaustible quantities of zero point vacuum energy, physically altering the geometry of spacetime -- a starship fueled by paradox. Obviously, the demonstration of such a device would dramatically prove that the preservation of global, or logical consistency is a fundamental and immutable law of nature. It would also probably fill our planet's energy needs forever. In other words, energy may be mutable, but logic is not. Nature abhors a paradox.

Hmmm, reminds of the Infinite Improbability Engine used in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe...

solution for $60/barrel oil?

let me start by stating I don't believe this proposal is valid (nevermind that it's also infeasible). the only reason I'm repeating it is because it was put forth by a respected economist who presumably knows more about economics (utility, elasticity, supply and demand and all that rot) than you or me. so it's good for an argument either way:

"the solution to high gasoline prices is for everybody to change their buying habits at the gas station. instead of filling up, if everybody always only put in $20 of fuel -- regardless of the price per gallon; the result would be that the reserve of gas now being stored in auto gas tanks would be shifted back. nobody would have to drive any less or have more efficient engines. merely shifting the reserve backwards -- from car to gas station, to delivery tanker truck, to refinery, to oil tanker, to oil well -- would cause a surplus of oil which would force each middleman and eventually the oil producing countries to cut back their price. this price cut would then be permanent and repeated because the end users would continue to only purchase $20 of gasoline every visit to the filling station. that's the theory."

now for my rebuttal: the authors argument leaves out the fact that oil producers can simply cut back on production - they don't have to store any surplus, because they can just leave the oil in the ground. sure they have fixed costs which must be met, but really isn't the majority of oil sales pure profit to the OPEC countries? secondly, if the surplus caused a reduction in price, that $20 will then pay for more gallons of gas, which then will wipe out the surplus. an equilibrium will be reached and continued $20 purchasing behavior will not cause further decreases in price.

ok, does anyone else care to argue one way or another?

just signed up for this...

I have no idea what it's about (ok maybe an inkling), but they want me to put it on my blog for 250 credits. hey, that can't be bad!?

UPDATE 9/15: seems this is causing popups to appear. don't need that. forget the 250 credits.

another update 10/23: still getting popups, I mangled the link in this post.

pics from the art show

went to the Sawdust Festival today. had fun talking to the artists, learned a little about materials, technique and marketing. almost bought a glycee (explained to me as French for "bullshit") for $450 - not bad for a framed oil beauty. the artist took the original, scanned and inkjetted it onto canvas, (which I think is the typical meaning of glycee) then painted over it -- kind of a fancy paint-by-numbers. a lot of the painters are doing glycee now; it's an easy way to make high quality reproductions. of course I really prefer looking at originals. btw, I'm working on a painting now myself; that's the real value of talking w/other artists (do you like how I throw myself into with that group now :-)

space(time), the final frontier...

forget the space shuttle for a moment. I watched "Planet of the Apes" last night w/the boys. as I explained to them, "it is a classic, meaning old but good". thought it was funny how it starts out w/Charlton Heston smoking a cigar and philosophizing in his little spaceship. really, what kind of scrubbing/filtering technology would be required to maintain breathable air on a spacecraft so that smoking would be no problem? hey, maybe thats why the air leak in Stewarts chamber caused her to age prematurely :) ...I then expounded on the possibility of time travel via near light speeds - Einsteins relativity theory in a nutshell. "no, nobody has ever done that yet" I claimed, "and it may not be possible anyway". the problem, as I recall, is the decceleration from near light speed - that is where you would lose all the big jump forward you made. but what do I know? the really laughable part of the movie was the idea that in 2000 years from now anyone (much less apes) would still be speaking and writing 20th century English. I'll stop there; I realize it's science fiction which requires a suspension of belief. it's just that good science fiction doesn't require you to suspend too much...

"Dead Man Walking", by Sister Helen Prejean

good quote from a good book (better than the movie) I'm reading :

"...In sorting out my feelings and beliefs, there is, however, one piece of moral ground of which I am absolutely certain: if I were to be murdered I would not want my murderer executed. I would not want my death avenged. Especially by government -- which can't be trusted to control its own bureaucrats or collect taxes equitably or fill a pothole, much less decide which of its citizens to kill.

Albert Camus' "Reflections on the Guillotine" is for me a moral compass on the issue of capital punishment. He wrote this essay in 1957 when the stench of Auschwitz was still in the air, and one of his cardinal points is that no government is ever innocent enough or wise enough or just enough to lay claim to so absolute a power as death.

Society proceeds sovereignly to eliminate the evil ones from her midst as if she were virtue itself. Like an honorable man killing his wayward son and remarking: "Really, I didn't know what to do with him"... To assert, in any case, that a man must be absolutely cut off from society because he is absolutely evil amounts to saying society is absolutely good, and no one in his right mind will believe this today.

Camus addresses the moral contradiction inherent in a policy which imitates the violence it claims to abhor, a violence, he says, made more grievous by premeditation:

Many laws consider a premeditated crime more serious than a crime of pure violence.... For there to be equivalence, the death penalty would have to punish a criminal who had warned his victim of the date at which he would inflict a horrible death upon him and who, from that moment onward, had confined him at his mercy for months. Such a monster is not encountered in private life."

...something to consider when you are trying to make up your own mind about the death penalty.

Bobby Martin, comedian

Bobby Martin is an imaginary comedian invented by my seven year old son. Bobby Martin has became famous for his incredibly bad jokes. Only Bobby Martin could ever get away with telling these jokes and boy did he. He filled the clubs and as Zach says, "the audience went 'HA HA HA' all the way home". The jokes are so bad, it's funny -- it's like the joke is on you for falling for his routine; but the audience always does; the laughter is so infectious that you can't help but be taken in by it yourself. A little alcohol consumption doesn't hurt neither. Like William Hung before him, Bobby Martin is a modern urban legend in the making. I've already heard someone say "sounds like a Bobby Martin joke" or a "B.M. joke" for short. Only Bobby Martin can tell jokes that stupid and get away with it. Where did Bobby Martin come from and how did he become so popular? Is it just a fluke, an alignment of the stars, his 15 minutes of fame? I conjectured maybe he's related to Steve Martin, or maybe Dean Martin? Or both? Dunno, but someone told me they thought Bobby Martin was black. Could be, why not? I know, you want hear a Bobby Martin joke, right? Maybe I'll share later, OK? Surely you've got some Bobby Martin jokes of your own or rumors about Bobby you'd like to spill? Please add a comment below and help spread the Bobby Martin legend!

vacation pics...

just got back yesterday from a great trip to Wyoming, Idaho and Utah. saw a lot of sights and had fun at a great wedding in Driggs/Grand Targhee. see the slide show (link above) for some highlights; I'll try to get motivated and write more about it latah...

burning question...

ok, so if it becomes illegal to burn the American flag, what about symbolically/virtually burning the flag? what constitues the flag? it's a symbol right? -- it's not an actual object. what you see above is an American flag. so, on the slippery slope of legal interpretation that little picture could conceivably cause YOU the reader to break the law just because it was displayed on your computer -- if, due to some digital alteration, the owner of said image changed it to an "American flag burning". "well", you say, "that's not what they mean, they mean really burning a real flag". ok, what constitues a "real" flag? think along the lines of what constitutes a "assault weapon" (another ill-thought law we know about here in CA).
what freedom are we protecting here? just a thought.

and what if someone put up a web page where you could symbolically burn a flag as a legitimate expression of protest (against this stupid proposal for example)? if you say "yes, that should be illegal", then you probably think merely suggesting the idea smacks of un-Americanism if not outright terrorism ("giving aid and comfort to those who would destroy us").

remember, the first amendment gives you the right of free speech, but it does not give you the right to yell "fire!" in a crowded theater (unless of course someone really is burning a flag).

Bush's GOP Allies Are Breaking Ranks

todays LA Times has Robert Scheer writing and quoting the recent discussions in congress:

...an increasing number of Republicans are admitting that the emperor has no clothes — having lied his pants off about our motives for invading Iraq, and ever since about how great things are going there.

"Too often we've been told, and the American people have been told, that we're at a turning point," said Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) on NBC's "Meet the Press," as he disagreed with Cheney's absurd claim last week that the Iraq insurgency is in its "last throes." "What the American people should have been told and should be told [is that] it's long, it's hard, it's tough."

Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.), a member of the Foreign Relations Committee, was even more blunt: "Things aren't getting better; they're getting worse," he told U.S. News and World Report, as the latest suicide bombings claimed the lives of dozens of Iraqis. "The White House is completely disconnected from reality. It's like they're just making it up as they go along. The reality is that we're losing in Iraq."

Even Rep. Walter B. Jones (R-N.C.), who brought us "freedom fries," has found enough of his wits to admit publicly that he has lost confidence in the Iraq occupation and would sponsor legislation calling on the administration to more clearly define how, and when, it intends to bring the war to a close.

the emperor may not be a lame duck yet, but do I detect a limp?

BTW, I was going to provide a "proper conservative analysis" link to "liberal" Scheer, but all I could find is years old material... little help here?

ojai/ventura weekend trip

the awesome family celebrated the last day of school with a trip to the country cousins for the weekend. yes, the Ojai Valley, where a unique blend of people coexist (more or less) with nature and each other. where you get your food from the mountain people's co-op, trader joes, or the back yard. we weren't invited to Jacko's casino party in nearby Santa Ynez Saturday night, so instead we went to Eric Ericcsen's (see review) on the pier at Ventura:

...and talked about the "not guilty" individual instead. Ventura has some interesting places and a good farmers market Saturday mornings, but for a large part it's ugly and utilitarian. I did enjoy the sculptures and talking to the artists with their works in progress at Art City:

there are a lot of gems like this hidden away in "San Buenaventura". but I digress, let's get back to the meal. for dinner I had charbroiled (rare) Ahi with an olive oil and green something or other sauce. with pilaf and veggies it was a nice light meal complemented by a glass of pinot blanc (sorry, forgot the brand -- sheesh, what kind of review is this?!) for dessert we decided to get fancy and went to the luxurious Ojai Valley Inn. there we had a really good chocolate delicacy described as:

"Valrhona chocolate fondant with raspberry coulis brandy chocolate sorbet".
anyway, it was a fun weekend with sailing, kayaking, pinball, pool, darts, tennis, oil painting and last but not least -- banjo pickin'!
if anyone cares I'll post more about whatever, just ask :-)

another trackback experiment

note to self: put this under the "learning experience" category. so I was reading Matt's (http://technologynewsetc.blogsome.com/) "trackback traffic for dummies" post (not really what he called it, but that's what I need). he describes trackbacks as something that:

"allows a blogger to see who has viewed the original post and has written another entry concerning it (and usually links to the original post). For example, if I were to link to a post on Engadget, that link would be put in the trackbacks section of the Engadget post. There would probably be Engadget readers curious to see who linked to that post, and would end up clicking the link to my blog through the trackback."

I tried a trackback before and did something wrong. this post is another attempt. and if anyone knows of a real "trackbacks for dummies" web page, please let me know :)

p.s. I see have a little trackback thing below each post and that haloscan is managing it for me. I also see that none of my posts have any trackbacks. so what does it take for someone to do something that causes an entry to appear in there?

p.p.s. maybe I'll write my own "trackbacks for dummies" here when I finally get my head around it.

"The Lazy Man's Guide to Enlightenment"

came across this little gem by happenstance. you can buy the book/read reviews or just read it online. here's an excerpt from chapter 7:

Never pull your attention away from a scene impulsively because it looks ugly, unpleasant, or painful.

Make a conscious decision, the words are enough, to love yourself for seeing it as revolting. If possible, keep your attention on it until it turns beautiful, or at least until you are indifferent to it.

You don't have to go looking for bad scenes to test yourself, or remind yourself of all that is wrong in the world, but once a scene manifests itself in your presence, become as fully aware of it as you can.

Staying with it is important. You may hide in your room or leave the city, but you as an entity will still be stuck on a low vibration level of denial if you pull away suddenly. It will seem like the strangest of coincidences when, having withdrawn your attention sharply from one unpleasant scene, you keep running into others like it. That will baffle you, and keep happening until you come to an unpleasantness you can tolerate or love, and your vibrations go up.

Look at it, love it, and then get away! It's all right to channel your attention to what is pleasant for you. What else is freedom for? And as long as there is free will, there are always going to be some beings creating vibrations you do not like, no matter what level you are on. The point is to take your leave in a way that doesn't hang you up.

After a few experiences with loving weird events, you will be tuned in enough to get early warning when someone is likely to rip you off or otherwise stir up bad vibrations, (when the cup is starting to fall, so to speak,) and you will be able to make the right moves before it gets too involved.

Don't feel that it is "unspiritual" to perceive unwholesome possibilities in other people: it isn't paranoia if the object of your fear is real.

It's just carelessness karma if you ignore early warnings. Keep your mind open and unresisting to any possibility: that's what gives you the information to keep evil from manifesting in your life. Pay attention, here and now. It's all right to say No.

No matter what others are doing, you are the only one who is responsible for what happens to you. There is nothing in the external event that in the least way determines your feelings and experiences: your life is entirely governed by your vibrations, what they tell you and how you respond.

The slower your vibrations, the more unpleasant your life: you will contend with more conflict, mass, and pain. Events will happen too fast for control, yet time will seem interminable because you can see no way out.

But when you raise your vibration level, you can neatly sidestep collisions, both psychic and physical, and quite literally change the world for the better. Love is the strongest magic of all.

When you learn to love hell, you will be in heaven.