Travelissimo – You Can Travel Easy, Or You Can Travelissimo

this is a guest post by fellow blogger Aaron Voorhees. I thought it was funny, so am blatantly (as in without permission) reposting here. so let's see if he can get a rise out of you readers:

August 12, 2005 PM

Why All The Opposing?

People often ask me, “Aaron why is it that you talk to an imaginary audience when you write your columns.” And I often say, “Please people, can you not see that I am writing an important piece of prose that may or may not save the world.” This is usually when my editor says, “Aaron are you arguing with imaginary people again. I think it is time you started seeing a psychiatrist.” Luckily, my editor fired me ages ago.
Let us get to the true meat of your question. You are wondering if this imaginary audience truly believes that I have something of relevance to say or if I just pay them to ask interested. To be honest with you, I am not quite sure myself. Sometimes I give mere acquaintances rides to the airport and then when they leave for the gate thanking me and promising to re-pay the favor, I casually mention I would appreciate if they read my column “at this web site, and here’s a card that has it in case you forget and if you are too busy to read these days maybe you could just read a paragraph on every commercial break for ‘Alias’ or ‘Spongebob Squarepants” or whatever you watch, and if the commercials are the Super Bowl quality ones you could always take a laptop with you to your next dental appointment.”
This brings us to the the little pink elephant of a question that you, my fantasy audience, are hinting at: “Why are you, Mr. Voorhees, writing a column for a web-site by the name of Deathtoallwhooppose.us? A jolly good question. The answer is simple. Although the opinions expressed by others on this web site do not always reflect my own, the people involved with creating content for this site all do have their own style of radical creativity. As a craftsman of written word, I look forward to being on this platform of spirited debate and quality artistic expression.
Thus, for the foreseeable future you can read my column every Monday morning here at Deathtoalloppose.us . . . Feel free to tell all of your imaginary friends too. I might even pretend to pick them up at the airport.
For those of you who have been following my mentor Mickey Buckle and his diatribe about the state of humanity in the Belltown Messenger of Seattle, rest assured that he is enjoying his sabbatical and still will not comment about the “artistic differences” that led to said break in his working relationship with the Messenger staff. He is currently living on his boat and writing his highly anticipated novel, “I believe the Flowers are our Future.” He has asked me to tell all of you that, “The commie-pinko, Rupert Murdoch-puppeted, newspaper-machine will never silence him.” It is my honor to be able to say that Mr. Buckle has promised to join me in writing occasional travel-related pieces for an upcoming novella entitled “Travelissimo.” There is still some debate between the two of us on whether the subtitle will be “You can Travel Easy or You Can Travelissimo” or “Ride Till You Find Them and Kill them All.” If you know which of us has thought up which subtitle you have definitely turned the television off and become part of my hip, happinin’ imaginary audience.

the intellectual snob test

are you a snob?
ok, just for yucks, I took the poll. here are the results (btw I'm not a snobby as the person who gave me the link):

The Snob!
You are 70% intellectual snob.
Congratulations, you're a bonafide snob. You probably know your James Joyce, your Salman Rushdie, and you've seen "Rashomon." You are the meat and pototoes of the black-wearing, novel-toating, library-frequenting intellectual crowd.
The UP side! Membership to any group feels pretty good...even those whose members all claim to be independent. It's fairly easy to spot your own; just crack open that well worn copy of Catcher in the Rye in front of some little greasy spoon and you've identified yourself as a member of the elite.

The DOWN side Intellectuals, just like high school preps, are constantly jockeying for position, and you're probably not at the top of the ladder. Y'know that one friend you have that you're constantly trying to impress? That's the alpha. Without some serious studying, he/she will forever look down on you as just slightly better than the slobbering illiterate masses you so despise.

quotes for today...

"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs." - Scott Adams

"Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think." - Chinese Proverb

"All generalizations are dangerous, even this one." - Alexandre Dumas

predestination for dummies (or "orange you glad I wore green"?)...

yesterday being a lenten friday, instead of celebrating st. patricks day with corned beef and green beer, we went to our local parish fish fry put on by the knights of columbus. there, during our meal, one of the topics my eight year old son was demonstrating to us his recent discovery of the middle finger hand gesture and it's meaning. some might have been shocked to see him do this at church, especially since just as he was showing this to my wife, a priest came wandering by to say "hi" and shake hands. I thought it was hilarious and was thinking "if I only had my camera!". it's that kind of funny crude humor that people really appreciate -- a little boy flipping off a priest to his face. but nope, that photo op was lost so you'll have to just picture it yourself (the pic of one of my favorite holy men - Johnny Cash will help). the priest seemed oblivious, he was just spreading good cheer and nicely shook Zach's middle fingered hand.

another dinnertime topic, it being st. paddy's day, was the tradition of the "wearing o' the green". do you know the significance of wearing orange on st. patricks day? it was done by protestants to distinguish themselves from the catholics as a form of protest or insult. historically this goes back to the Battle of Boyne in 1690 when the protestant King William (of orange, holland) defeated the british catholic King James. I asked my older son if he knew what a protestant was. nope. I explained they are christians that have some different beliefs from catholics. so inquiring minds want to know -- what's the difference?

I tried to explain with my rusty knowledge the doctrine of "by faith alone" and predestination - the split by John Calvin way back in the middle ages. I didn't get very far. so we moved on... to the fact that I had just noticed both my sons were wearing orange jackets over their green shirts. coincidence or...?

later, my interest piqued, I jumped on the net to do a little followup research. what is the significance of predestination? what were those people protesting that made them protestants? I remember one of the things was the practice of "indulgences" by which if you had enough money you could buy your way into heaven -- really! anyway, that's what some in the church wanted you to believe. to a certain degree that epitimizes what it was (and still is) all about. the catholic idea is that if you have faith, you will do the right thing; that faith without works is meaningless. and the "right thing" varies, but somehow "good catholics" all do it. protestants insist that they are saved from hell "by faith alone" - "solo fide"; that only God's grace and the forgiveness of Jesus wins us a place in heaven. the idea is that all knowing God already knows who will go to heaven, everyone will be judged and some will make it, some not. so if we are already doomed, there is nothing we can do, say, or think to earn a place in heaven. even if we have free will. contradictory?

both sides have plenty to say about the matter (see the links below).

so what is my take? are we all doomed because we're all imperfect sinners and have no choice? was it predestined that my son would accidently flip off the priest? was it predestined that I couldn't share a picture, but could share the story? was it predestined that you are reading this? who knows?

my favorite predestination example is about the lottery - your odds of winning millions are so small, there is nothing you can do to ensure a win. so you don't have to do anything - including buying a lottery ticket. because if it is meant to happen, it will happen and there is nothing you can do to prevent it. so don't bother trying because all effort is futile. and yet we still buy the tickets; without good reason people just won't give up. they still believe in luck or magical thinking. maybe that's the same with faith - we have no good reason to believe and yet we still do, still go through the motions and rituals even though it doesn't matter. because hey, you can't earn a ticket to heaven, it's a free ride. but we still try.
in the end, maybe that's what really matters.

references:
predestination as the catholic encyclopedia 'splains it.
Not by Faith Alone: A Biblical Study of the Catholic Doctrine of Justification - read the reviews, particulary the 2 star rating by "theologicalresearcher".
the "troubles" of northern ireland in a nutshell.
northern ireland: more in depth material from bbc

the effect of Chris Pirillo...

just heard a rumor about my old lockergnome buddy: that if you mention him in a blog post, he will leave you a comment. such is the amazing power of our search engines. hard to believe but apparently true. well, can you prove that it is really left by him and not one of his merry pranksters? yes, very easily as a matter of fact. if you subscribe to his email newsletter you know that he always has some funky phrase in the suubject line. so Chris, alls ya gotta do is post your comment here BEFORE that particular newsletter is sent. otherwise we all know that the Chris Pirillo effect is an urban legend. of course, another likely event (if you peruse at my blog's paucity of comments) is that Chris (or one of his trained monkeys) will miss my little niche of the 'net - thus disproving the effect. ok, the testing has begun! I will post the results...

PS: if it IS true, I will attempt the same feat - mention tomawesome in your blog and I will leave a comment. that is the "tomawesome challenge"!

just do it (anyway)...

this being Oscar sunday, what am I doing? went to church of course! first sunday of Lent, so seemed a good idea. (hey doesn't the statue look like he's praying?) heard a poem attributed to Mother Teresa that I wanted to share here. so as usual, I googled it to find the text and came across what seems to be just a bit of plagiarism. I guess we're all a bit sinner and saint eh?

1. The version found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa

____________________________

2. The Original Version:

The Paradoxical Commandments

by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
© 1968, 2001 Kent M. Keith

"The Paradoxical Commandments" were written by Kent M. Keith in 1968 as part of a booklet for student leaders.

on this day of rest
currently chilling to:
Q-Burns Abstract Message/Feng Shui Groove
Mr. Gone/Equation Boogie
Wagon Christ/Saddic Gladdic
VHS or Beta/Solid Gold

chances are...

I was lost inside a daydream
swimming through or sailing
I looked at you and you breathed in
but that's the way it's always been.
it all comes down to creating time
you don't always have to make it rhyme
we'll all drive far in our hybrid lives
chances are,
we'll make it back.

I was doing time in the L.A. jail
my crime was living inside a failure
no matter how, it don't matter now
rest assured, the rest is blurred.
it all comes down to doing time
you don't always have to make it a crime
we'll all drive off in our hybrid lives
chances are,
we'll make it back...

Terence McKenna said
it is better to explore within
we were apes before we spoke of sin
the cosmos sits on the tip of a pin
it all comes down to creating time.
you don't always have to make it alright
we'll all drive by with our hybrid lives
chances are,
we'll make it back...

see also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terrence_McKenna

quote of the day...

"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?" - Albert Einstein

elemental states of being...

water: this represents our attitude -- a constant flow of spirit that shapes and persists; seeming the same, yet always changing.

air: our thoughts -- existence without substance. shifting and boundless flights of fancy. the realm of imagination where ideas fly and fall; communicated through the vibration of voices.

fire: our feelings -- emotional intensity, passion and metabolism. the breaking down and release of energy as heat in the transformation of the end product, which is of course the element...

earth: our actions -- the physical results of all the above. easily measurable concrete manifestations.

I'm not studying alchemy, astrology or anything like that. I just pulled this all from my head, so it's about as original as I can get. interesting, eh?

quote from my dad...

"If you're not detested, you're not taking care of yourself."
hmmm.

speak up! and let's hang together...

"In Germany, they first came for the communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Catholic. Then they came for me–and by that time there was nobody left to speak up."
—Martin Niemöller (1945) [he served seven years in a concentration camp]

more inspiration...

just finished an old (but new to me) classic: "way of the peaceful warrior" by Dan Millman. thx to Lisa Lipscomb for the reference (see her goal #16). it was a fun, easy and enlightening read. here's a snippet:

"There is no need to search; achievement leads to nowhere. It makes no difference at all, so just be happy now! Love is the only reality of the world... the only laws are paradox, humor and change..."

ok that sounds pretty flaky out of context; it is a hippy-dippy philosophy (similar to Carlos Casteneda's) but a good story nonetheless and I recommend it.

if you want something more logical, more cut-and-dried, try these lecture notes on free will and determinism I also read this evening (hint: he thinks we have free will).

psychotherapy and religion...

“If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him!”. was a book I browsed years ago and was just reminded of. here’s a nutshell "eschatological laundry list" by the author that a reviewer on amazon shared:

1. This is it!

2. There are no hidden meanings

3. You can't get there from here, and besides, there's no place else to go

4. We are all already dying and we'll be dead for a long time.

5. Nothing lasts!

6. There is no way of getting all you want.

7. You can't have anything unless you let go of it.

8. You only get to keep what you give away.

9. There is no particular reason why you lost out on some things.

10. The world is not necessarily just. Being good often does not pay off and there is no compensation for misfortune.

11. You have the responsibility to do your best nonetheless.

12. It is a random universe to which we bring meaning.

13. You don't really control anything.

14. You can't make someone love you.

...so put that in your pipe and smoke it :)

nonviolence: Martin Luther King and capital punishment...

work in progress...

Clarence Ray Allen - sick old dude, ordered killings from jail cell

some murders are more important than others, but for the victims loved ones it's just the same

justice is a balancing out, making up for...
so capital punishment is a form of revenge? a dish best served cold? is that what we accomplish by killing an old man who's been in jail for 30 years?

is this the best balancing out we as society could do?
why was he allowed to talk to anyone?
interpretation of "cruel and unusual" in constitution allows execution but not more severe treatment e.g. solitary confinement.

capital punishment - from latin caput: head or top - the worst, most
severe punishment... getting "tough on crime"

bleeding heart liberals are "soft on crime" in other words do not support justice

everyone that participates (and in their actions is a de facto supporter) in the meting out is part of the official violence.

MLK preached that non-violence is a powerful tool (or was it weapon?). like Jesus not striking back at the enemy, this "withholding of justice" creates a potential, an imbalance that (maybe) must be rectified somehow - in other words let the universe be out of whack and overrule justice with love and compassion. this is the ridiculous idea that these guys preached -- let the murderers laugh. so where is the power that comes from nonviolence? to be continued...

Oskar Schindler to the sadistic concentration camp head - "think of the power you have in not killing them"
Ayn Rands objectivism - ultimate power lies with the individual

new name...

now my blog is not so blah :) "infosnack" is the trendy word of '05, so now it's not so trendy. and adoptable by me. I'm not good at being leading edge, but I'm pretty good at following the trend. anyway, my posts here are little morsels, tidbits of 30 second items, so it's more appropriate. so there you go!

"He is President, Not A King" -- Russ Feingold

constitutional crisis, impeachable offenses. hey, can we impeach Cheney too?

[UPADATE] ok, we need to censure first...

reference: democrats using the "I" word

tags: bushitler wiretap fisa impeachment

Bush above law and following it AG claims

since Jack Balkin et al say it so much better (them bein' law professors and all) I'll make like Instapundit and just refer you to their well written posts which I happen to agree with. To wit:

"...The latest version is Attorney General Gonzales' assertion that the September 18, 2001 AUMF [Authorization for Use of Military Force] -- which gave Congressional approval to fight terrorism militarily-- gives the President carte blanche to override the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978. On its face, the claim is preposterous. The logic of the claim, however, is far more important. If the AUMF impliedly alters federal laws that limit the President's power to fight terrorism, then there is no law that the President may not disregard in the name of fighting terrorism.

The second, and even more chilling argument is that the President has inherent authority to fight terrorism even absent the AUMF. Under this theory, the President can create exceptions to law whenever he determines that it is necessary to fight terrorism. If so, then not only is there no law the President may disregard, but all attempts by Congress to rein him in are presumptively unconstitutional because they interfere with his prerogative to determine the nature of the terrorist threat and the most effective means to fight it.

Thus, the strategy of "governing through terrorism"-- using the threat of terrorism as a justification for maximizing presidential power and minimizing presidential accountability inevitably produces bad incentives for executive officials. Ever-expanding power without accountability invites self-righteousness and overreaching."

in another great post there by Marty Lederman, he describes AG's twisted logic:

"But the Attorney General's press conference today makes it clear that that's their story, and they're sticking to it. The odd thing, of course, is that the Administration specifically went to Congress with a package of statutory authorities -- many related to wiretaps and surveillance -- that it thought were necessary to fight the battle against Al Qaeda. It was called the PATRIOT Act. Therefore, it's understandable that two reporters at today's conference asked the AG why they didn't simply ask Congress for a simple amendment to FISA, if this eavesdropping authority was as critical as the Administration now claims.

First, Gonzales is asked why, if this authority is so important, they didn't just "address that issue and fix it," i.e., through statutory amendment, rather than taking the "backdoor approach" [of pretending that it had already been authorized]. Here's his response:

"This is not a backdoor approach. We believe Congress has authorized this kind of surveillance. We have had discussions with Congress in the past -- certain members of Congress -- as to whether or not FISA could be amended to allow us to adequately deal with this kind of threat, and we were advised that that would be difficult, if not impossible."

Did you catch that? It's a two-part answer: (1) Congress has authorized the circumvention of FISA (in the AUMF); and (ii) We didn't ask Congress for an amendment to FISA because we were informed they would have denied it.

And then there's this exchange, in which the answers are inverted (1. We couldn't have gotten congressional authorization; 2. In any event, we got congressional authorization):

Q If FISA didn't work, why didn't you seek a new statute that allowed something like this legally?

ATTORNEY GENERAL GONZALES: That question was asked earlier. We've had discussions with members of Congress, certain members of Congress, about whether or not we could get an amendment to FISA, and we were advised that that was not likely to be -- that was not something we could likely get, certainly not without jeopardizing the existence of the program, and therefore, killing the program. And that -- and so a decision was made that because we felt that the authorities were there, that we should continue moving forward with this program.

The interesting question now, of course, is whether Congress will permit itself to be treated with such contempt."

recall Alberto is our same friend who advocates torture. Balkin has another good post on that. my sentiment echos commenter George Gregg who says:

"Basically, when the need for breaking a law is so extreme in one's estimation that it warrants doing so, one goes ahead and does it and accepts the consequences of that afterward. If I must break into someone's home to save them from a fire, I don't worry about the illegality of breaking and entering. I don't worry about destroying their front door, breaking their window, pulling their frightened child out of the burning house without permission. I trust, however, that the system of justice we have in a civilized society can take the context into consideration when determining whether to charge me for a crime or, if so, on what kind of punishment I deserve. We don't need a set of exceptions to the law against breaking and entering to factor in the possibiity of saving lives from a fire.

So with torture. Make a total ban, with the understanding that, if there is such a compelling reason to break the law, it is always within the realm of possibility. But that the one who does it will have to answer to the law afterward as to whether it was truly an overriding, compelling need that drove the breach."

tags: bushitler alberto+gonzalez wiretap torture

now that flu season is here...

let's discuss something good our president has done recently. as they say, "even a broken clock is right twice a day". you can question his motives (popularity polls and all that), but this could turn out be the best thing W has done for the country.

too bad his own party won't let it be funded. if only he hadn't already spent all his political capital. well you can't fault the most powerful man on earth for trying!

I'm speaking of course about his recent speech where he brought to national attention the need to prepare for a possible bird flu pandemic:

"I am asking that the Congress fund $1.2 billion for the Department of Health and Human Services to purchase enough doses of this vaccine from manufacturers to vaccinate 20 million people".

hmm, what about the other 275 million Americans? maybe we ought to do our own stockpiling despite what "experts" say. recall how helpful the government was in New Orleans...

references:
Tamiflu is not a panacea, experts say
"Republicans reject pandemic flu plan funding" -- dailykos
Roche Picks 12 Drugmakers for Tamiflu Production
official whitehouse policy
facts from cdc

tags:
epidemiology pandemic avian+flu tamiflu bush+phone

tagging issues...

so like it says at the top, this blog is a learning experience. this post is an experiment to see if technorati is really recognizing and publishing links to here. I've yet to see one of my posts appear there and I suspect that something is not working right (notice I'm not pointing fingers yet). I'm tagging this entry with "statistically improbable phrases" (as I think amazon calls them). and I'm pinging technorati, even though I think blogger is supposed to do it automatically. let's see if everything works as it should (just click on one of the tags below and see what technorati finds)...

UPDATE: it's been about 20 minutes since my post and nothing is showing up. looks like a bug to me. anyone have a clue?

tags: technorati+problem technocracy tomawesome complaints
UPDATE: here is code lifted directly from technorati and it still doesn't work --
tomawesome

12/15 UPDATE: well its the next day and voila! the tags are working. so now the question is, is it because I complained (I emailed technorati) or is this time lag normal? I'll keep playing with tags and post my results here.

12/17 UPDATE: something must have clicked into gear (even if it is low gear). my post on 12/16 is correctly showing on technorati - it did take 16 hours or so, but it did show up.

how to annoy people

just to lighten things up a bit...

How to Annoy Coworkers
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
Find out where your boss shops, and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you.)
Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."
Send email to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
Hi-lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive Liquid. Call everyone Madge.
Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee, a printout, whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
Put a chair facing the printer. Sit there all day, and tell people you're waiting on your printout.
Every time someone asks you to do something--anything--ask them if they want fries with that.
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."
Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
Send email messages saying there's free pizza, donuts, or cake in the break room. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Ohh, you've got to be faster than that!"
Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
Run one lap around the office at top speed.
Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"
Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
Walk sideways to the photcopier.
While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that? I don't want to have to repeat it."
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'.
Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do number two".
After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamacian accent. As in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, dang it--all of you!"
In a colleagues daytimer, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"
Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) during a very important conference call.
Don an apron, find the vacuum, and start vacuuming around your desk.
Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets.

How to Annoy Fellow Flight Passengers
Find common interests. Ask, "Are you in the Witness Protection Program too?"
Tell your fellow passenger that you just heard the bathrooms were out-of-order. Then pause and say, "Did you know that peanuts are a natural diuretic?" Smile.
Call the stewardess "nurse".
Sport a kamikaze helmet and goggles. Speak in a low voice into a hand held tape recorder: "Today's date, December 7th, 1941. I was not able to command my own personal plane but success shall still be ours...."
Yell out, "John Lithgow is on the wing!"
Speak in Spelling Bee-eese: "Hello. H-e-l-l-o. Hello. Nice weather we're having isn't it? Weather. W-e-a-t-h-e-r. Weather."
Start singing the Shari Lewis theme, "This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because, this is the song that never ends...." Suddenly realize that you can never stop singing. Become very panicky. Scrawl "Help me" on a piece of paper and hand it to the person sitting next to you. Claw at your throat and thrash around in the seat. Never stop singing.
Continually offer to share your "Beano".
Decorate. Bring a scatter rug and tiny draperies. Hang a "Home Sweet Home" plaque on the back of the seat in front of you. Invite your fellow passengers in for tea.
Suddenly remember that you left your iron on. Ask if the pilot would mind going back so you can check.
Bring your computer keyboard without a monitor. Place it on your lap. Stare into the palm of your hand. Wait. Push the return key a few times. Yell out "Yes! Alright! I told them I didn't need a laptop!" Plug the headphones into your nostril and play DOOM.
Bring a duffel bag packed with pipe cleaners, styrofoam balls, construction paper, etc. Organize a "Kraft Korner". Make a craft likeness of the person sitting next to you. Give yourself an "F".
Say, "Did you know every time a plane crashes, an angel gets its wings?" Then sigh and stare dreamily into the clouds.
Snap Polaroids of him or her. Pull out an empty photo album and arrange the pictures inside it. Tuck the album under your jacket and say, "You know, in some cultures they believe that when you take a person's photograph...you own their soul...," while smiling maniacally.
Bring a cellular phone. Call God. Say, "The reception is much clearer up here...."
Speak in an incredibly fake Australian accent. Call the person "mate". Tell them you're not used to seeing the sky, since you are from "Down Under". Keep repeating quotes from "Crocodile Dundee," such as "That's not a knife! That's a knife!", until they are forced to yell at you that you are not Australian. Call them prejudiced.
Bring a "Word-a-Day" calendar on board with you. Read every single word aloud and attempt to use it in a sentence. Use them all incorrectly. "'My, you have a very irate home,' she said governessly."
Lean back in your seat, fold your arms behind your head and exclaim, "Thank God for auto-pilot, eh?"

How to Annoy The IRS
Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples on the right side.
Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side.)
Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in you forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, send a two or three party check. On top of paying with a third party check, pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.
Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a supermarket sack.
When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.
If you send two checks, they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.
Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.
Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to be verified and then date stamped.
These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with the IRS. These methods are ONLY recommended when you OWE money.

How to Annoy Other Drivers
Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
Two words: Chicken suit.
Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
Stop at the green lights.
Go at the red ones.
Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
Eat food that requires silverware.
Pass cars, then drive very slowly.
Sing without having the radio on.
Honk frequently without motivation.
Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.
Ask people for Grey Poupon.
Let pedestrians know who's boss.
Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
Restart your car at every stop light.
Hang numerous car fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them; stroking them lovingly.
Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.
While stopped at a light, pee out the window/sunroof onto other cars.
Paint your car with occult symbols.
Keep at least five cats in the car.
Root for firetrucks.
Stop and collect roadkill.
Stop and pray to roadkill.
Throw Spam.
Get in the fast lane and gradually ... slow ... down ... to ... a ...stop. Then get out and watch the cars.

How to Annoy People
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
type only in lowercase.
don t use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets..
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

How to Annoy People in Elevators
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
Crack open your briefcase or purse and, while peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there?"
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, then announce: "I've got new socks on!". Meow occasionally.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Bring a camera, and take pictures of everyone.
Move your desk into the elevator, and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
Leave a box in a corner and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, "did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic. They'll open up again."
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "GROUP HUG!" and enforce it.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you're on.
Hold the doors open, and say that you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg, how's your day been?"
Drop a pen, and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, and then scream "That's mine!"

How to Annoy Wal-Mart Employees

(Actually titled 50 Ways to Have Fun in Wal-Mart, but I'm sure all these things WOULD annoy employees! Plus some more have been added.)

Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in narrow aisles.
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
Play with the automatic doors.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"
Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Put M&M's on layaway.
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
TP as much of the store as possible.
Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
Take bets on the battle described above.
Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
Hold indoor shopping cart races.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."
Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
Two words: "Marco Polo."
Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
"Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.
Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons.
Try on bras over top of your clothes.
Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me !! pick me!!" and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

*BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.

How to Annoy Women
[Wife] Call her by the dog's name and then deny it.
Superglue the commode seat in the up position.
Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she thinks that she's gaining weight, give her a condescending smile and say that you prefer her with some meat on her bones.
[Wife] Call her by your mother's name and then deny it.
Start a conversation with the dog in the middle of one with her.
Buy her power tools for Valentine's Day.
Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery.
Pretend you forgot how to speak English.
Answer every question with "Yes, dear." (Use with caution as PMS is a valid murder defense in many states.)

How to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmates
Stick your palms under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
Say, "Dang, this water is cold."
Drop a marble and say, "Oh crap...my glass eye!"
Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
Grunt and strain for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of about 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
Say, "Now how did that get there?"
In your best Letterman voice mumble, "Hummus. Reminds me of Humus."
Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
Say, "Interesting, more floaters than sinkers."
Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please."
Fill a balloon with creamed corn .. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter creamed corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the Coke, Tylenol, and sardines you had for breakfast.
Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
Say, "Dang, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
Read the graffiti on the walls out loud. Answer each one with, "Hmmm, yeah!" Every so often ask, "Is this YOUR number?"
Yell, and pretend to have a conversation with someone in the adjoining women's bathroom.
Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
Desperately yell, "HEY! Could I get some toilet paper here!!!" Then mutter, "Where IS that bathroom attendant?! ...Mom?!"
Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-Boo!"

tags: humor

wow, this page is more readable!

so I changed my template. now I'm using "minima" which does the job and I was getting tired of that big ol' orange "jellyfish" thing. as blogger warned, it wiped out all my javascript. oh well, no great loss. we're flexible, right? I can easily find what I need and fix it again. I'm thinking of changing the name of this blog too, but I forgot the idea I had. expect changes!

tags: blog, gtd

Toookie Williams, Death Row, and Redemption.

much can be said pro and con re capital punishment. but let's strip away some of of the gray areas - race and economic inequality, mental capacity, possible rehabilitation, doubt of guilt. let's take a hypothetical case where the subject admits guilt of a heinous crime, has no remorse, has gotten superb legal representation and is a white male. in other words, an ideal candidate for execution.
so the argument for death is based on justice - he has commited a crime that cannot be forgiven by society, he is in fact a mistake of the human race and must be destroyed. but would it be possible to advance the state of human society by not having the government kill this individual in cold blood? remember, in the prevailing attitude of "karmic justice" terms he doesn't deserve to live -- he killed his victims in cold blood and they weren't given a chance or choice to live out their natural lives, so why should he?
my answer is that he should be given life without possibility of parole. we've taken away most of his physical freedom right there. but what about the "coddling" of prisoners and all their rights? picture our lifer subject's normal daily schedule: wake up, have breakfast in bed, catch the latest news and sports on the radio (maybe Howard Stern if he can get satellite), chat with neighbors, go work out in the gym, shower and maybe get a "woman", have lunch, watch tv, dinner, read, etc... doesn't seem fair to the victims, does it?
ok, this is not what I envision in life without parole. instead, I envision a prison environment where only the most basic necessities are provided. there are plenty of things that can be taken away for the purpose of "punishment". nobody has to be cruel and it won't be unusual -- they just don't get much of what they want. my guess is this is what occurs in many prisons around the world.
the one freedom that I would grant these lifers that they do not currently have easy access to is the ability to take their own life. each cell could be provided with a special firearm - maybe a 12 gauge barrel embedded in the wall. just "insert head here" and pull trigger. easy as flushing the toilet! let people deal with their own demons. this would be the only esape and the state washes its hands of responsibility. if the individuals truly can redeem themselves in jail, then they never need use such a device.
call me "pro-choice", but I believe this would be an advancement in American society and mankind in turn.

tags: capital+punishment death+penalty Tookie terminator Schwarzenegger

womb to tomb

life: a temporary illusion we experience as "individuals"

my seven year old had a facts of life question the other evening. not "where do babies come from?", rather, "where do babies come out?". I didn't have a good answer so just said "out of a woman's privates". being in the full-blown potty humor stage he asked "out her butt!?"...

"no", said I, "another place...". I searched for a good response that wouldn't fuel his seven year old joke generator. 'birth canal' just didn't sound right. luckily he lost interest at that point, a little disappointed that babies don't pop out of ladies butts along with the poo.

later I thought of the word I had been looking for: womb. sure! I could even tell him a little joke about the baby who had a "womb with a view" (which would go over his head and hopefully I wouldn't need to explain what "view" implies). so maybe next time the topic comes up...

anyway, it got me to think more about being in the womb.
that period before separation from the mother must be the most comfortable state I can possibly recall. (though they say it is quite impossible to remember, the habits and patterns started there give us some hint of how comfortable it must be). but before that separation and even before conception, the comfort of being an integral part of whatever energy and matter that is morphing into an eventual new life evidenced by birth (a necessary separation dictated by evolution) -- that comfort level must be heavenly. Imagine all your atoms happily bonded, your electrons snuggly tucked away in their shells. sublime, eh?

so a return to that heaven is, I suppose, as inevitable as death and taxes. and I'm not so sure about taxes anymore :)

top 100 novels of the 20th century (1923 to present)

here's my status on each of the novels:
(btw, I'll email you my .xls version of this list on request)...

Title	Author	Status
The Adventures of Augie March	Saul Bellow
All the King's Men	Robert Penn Warren
American Pastoral	Philip Roth
An American Tragedy	Theodore Dreiser
Animal Farm	George Orwell	started
Appointment in Samarra	John O'Hara
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret	Judy Blume
The Assistant	Bernard Malamud
At Swim-Two-Birds	Flann O'Brien
Atonement	Ian McEwan
Beloved	Toni Morrison
The Berlin Stories	Christopher Isherwood
The Big Sleep	Raymond Chandler
The Blind Assassin	Margaret Atwood
Blood Meridian	Cormac McCarthy
Brideshead Revisited	Evelyn Waugh
The Bridge of San Luis Rey	Thornton Wilder
Call It Sleep	Henry Roth
Catch-22	Joseph Heller	saw movie
The Catcher in the Rye	J.D. Salinger	read
A Clockwork Orange	Anthony Burgess	read
The Confessions of Nat Turner	William Styron
The Corrections	Jonathan Franzen	unfinished
The Crying of Lot 49	Thomas Pynchon
A Dance to the Music of Time	Anthony Powell
The Day of the Locust	Nathanael West	started
Death Comes for the Archbishop	Willa Cather
A Death in the Family	James Agee
The Death of the Heart	Elizabeth Bowen
Deliverance	James Dickey	saw movie
Dog Soldiers	Robert Stone
Falconer	John Cheever
The French Lieutenant's Woman	John Fowles
The Golden Notebook	Doris Lessing
Go Tell it on the Mountain	James Baldwin
Gone With the Wind	Margaret Mitchell	saw movie
The Grapes of Wrath	John Steinbeck	started
Gravity's Rainbow	Thomas Pynchon
The Great Gatsby	F. Scott Fitzgerald	read
A Handful of Dust	Evelyn Waugh
The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter	Carson McCullers
The Heart of the Matter	Graham Greene
Herzog	Saul Bellow	started
Housekeeping	Marilynne Robinson
A House for Mr. Biswas	V.S. Naipaul	audio
I, Claudius	Robert Graves
Infinite Jest	David Foster Wallace
Invisible Man	Ralph Ellison	read
Light in August	William Faulkner
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe	C.S. Lewis	read
Lolita	Vladimir Nabokov	read
Lord of the Flies	William Golding	read
The Lord of the Rings	J.R.R. Tolkien	unfinished, saw movies
Loving	Henry Green
Lucky Jim	Kingsley Amis
The Man Who Loved Children	Christina Stead
Midnight's Children	Salman Rushdie
Money	Martin Amis
The Moviegoer	Walker Percy
Mrs. Dalloway	Virginia Woolf	started
Naked Lunch	William Burroughs
Native Son	Richard Wright
Neuromancer	William Gibson	started
Never Let Me Go	Kazuo Ishiguro
1984	George Orwell	read
On the Road	Jack Kerouac	started
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest	Ken Kesey	read
The Painted Bird	Jerzy Kosinski
Pale Fire	Vladimir Nabokov
A Passage to India	E.M. Forster
Play It As It Lays	Joan Didion
Portnoy's Complaint	Philip Roth	started
Possession	A.S. Byatt
The Power and the Glory	Graham Greene
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie	Muriel Spark
Rabbit, Run	John Updike
Ragtime	E.L. Doctorow
The Recognitions	William Gaddis
Red Harvest	Dashiell Hammett
Revolutionary Road	Richard Yates
The Sheltering Sky	Paul Bowles
Slaughterhouse-Five	Kurt Vonnegut	read
Snow Crash	Neal Stephenson
The Sot-Weed Factor	John Barth
The Sound and the Fury	William Faulkner
The Sportswriter	Richard Ford
The Spy Who Came in From the Cold	John le Carre
The Sun Also Rises	Ernest Hemingway	read
Their Eyes Were Watching God	Zora Neale Hurston
Things Fall Apart	Chinua Achebe
To Kill a Mockingbird	Harper Lee	read
To the Lighthouse	Virginia Woolf
Tropic of Cancer	Henry Miller
Ubik	Philip K. Dick
Under the Net	Iris Murdoch
Under the Volcano	Malcolm Lowry	saw movie
Watchmen	Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons
White Noise	Don DeLillo
White Teeth	Zadie Smith
Wide Sargasso Sea	Jean Rhys
	total read:	12
	total did something with:	27

boycott sony

here's the details
sign the petition
I wasn't planning on buying a PS/3 anyway... but now nobody should buy 'em! for a while anyway :)

where do croissants come from?

see pop'n'fresh doughboy's accident... click on the link in the title because I obviously don't know enough about copying html to get the video to work here (hey you experts, how about helpin' a guy out here - why doesn't it show below? - is the owner of the filename I'm referencing not allowing a download or what?)

just for yucks...

I posted a pic of me self on HOT or NOT.
let's see if others think I'm as hot as I think I am. feel free to vote!

perfect male scents...

since I accidently broke my (amost full) bottle of Obsession,
I tracked down some replacement recommendations which I will share here:

Perfect? I love Romeo Gigli Cologne by Romeo Gigli... and Fahrenheit by Christian Dior but whether they are perfect for men...

Fiona 4/4/2004 6:09 AM
allessandro dell'aqua for man is my best for now. it's very organised and i feel it's like bracing air. i like moderate ones for men.

Frederique 4/5/2004 12:50 AM
what about... Aqua di Parma?

Taner 4/6/2004 2:47 PM
Well I just put on some Venezia -Uomo while reading forum, I liked it very much for the first few seconds so why not.
I would say Very Sexy from Victoria Secret is also very tempting, not same kind of alchemy though.

Lobna 4/7/2004 7:41 PM
D&G has one that smells... intoxicating.. i love it- but i dont know what its called -one of my guy friends had it on

Frederique 4/8/2004 1:21 AM
D&G... Does it come in a silver top bottle, with a light greenish colour perfume?

Does it smell fresh, lemony and musky at the same time?
It could be D&G Masculin.

Indeed it is lovely.

Do you also know Déclaration by Cartier?
I'm sure you'd like it.

Carla 4/11/2004 7:33 PM
Definetly Chaleur D'Animale for men,it's devine!The best male scent ever!

Lobna 4/12/2004 7:31 PM
that sounds like it, i mainly remember that it was strong- reminded me of aramis

Anna 5/19/2004 3:06 PM
I really like Angel for Men. My husband uses that exclusively ever since it came out.

5/24/2004 1:12 AM
i still have to turn my head and follow the scent with my nose when i recognize it in any man in the street,Kouros, my unique, great and lost love's perfume (although he used it in excessive amounts and gave me headaches :OP)
here are my favs: 6/12/2004 9:01 PM
1) Kenzo pour homme (to DIE for)
NOTES: Marine, Cloves, Nutmeg, Sandalwood, Vetiver

2) Dior - Fahrenheit
NOTES: Hawthorn, Sandalwood

3) Dolce & Gabbana - pour homme
NOTES: Orange, Lemon, Bergamot, Lavender, Sage, Sandalwood, Tobacco, Cedar.

J. 6/23/2004 11:21 AM
Angel for men & Xerius Rouge Givenchy

Celso Issey Miyake 6/23/2004 4:27 PM
The best male scent is definetly L'eau D'issey by Issey Miyake, it's like THE parfume!!

Raquel 6/23/2004 8:59 PM
My favorite one is Boss in Motion- Hugo Boss...... it´s outstanding.
I also really like Ferrari Black and 212

Katrin 6/25/2004 4:07 AM
Laura Biagotti "Roma"...uhh it makes me crazy:)

Cha L´Eau d´Issey 6/28/2004 4:36 AM
That´s my favorite.

Juan 6/28/2004 11:24 PM
"Envy" by Gucci!

Cha Found out.... 7/2/2004 12:53 AM
that the "brand new" Polo Blue is really gooooooooooooooooooood!

Marta GREAT ONES 7/2/2004 9:26 PM
i love Mont Blanc (but just a few men wear it) and also a MOSCHINO, just don't know exactly which one...

L'eau d'Issey - Issey Miyake 7/8/2004 3:43 PM
simply wonderful!...

Le Male! 7/9/2004 7:21 AM
I idolatre "Le Male", from Jean-Paul Gaultier... I just LOVE that one... geeeeez, it seems to me that i feel that fragrance in the air...

Leonardo 7/10/2004 6:08 PM
Definitly the best parfum is Escada

Roberta 7/12/2004 7:43 AM
I simply love Carolina Herrera 212 for Men and Hugo Boss Elements. Polo Blue is also amazing! They are very sexy fragances...

Heloisa 8/12/2004 3:15 PM
It depends..... Herrera for men -by Carolina Herrera

DKNY for men - Donna Karan

Armani pour Homme - Giorgio Armani

Fendi- Uommo

CK - Calvin Klein
it depends who is wearing it!

Samara 8/12/2004 5:03 PM
oh I just LOVE Hugo Boss #1 and Angel for men

Berit simply the best.. 8/17/2004 5:08 AM
...perfume for men is carolina herrera 212, mmmmm all time favourite:P

Paula One of the best! 8/17/2004 11:10 AM
In my opinion, one of the best male scents is XS, by Pacco Rabane!

Cavanhaque HUMNN... 8/17/2004 11:16 AM
Aqua di Giò pour homme and Kenzo!!
:-)

Onaiza 8/21/2004 10:13 AM
Issey Miyake !!!!!!!! and ice berg isnt bad too !
perfect for the ones who seek for perfection!;)

Le Male is Incontestable !!! 10/20/2004 10:54 AM
Le Male by Gaultier is the best male scent in the "world of parfums" !!!

Will 12/16/2004 9:56 PM
MY TOP 4 cologne picks as of now ******
#1 . Aqua di Parma/BLU/Mandorlo di Sicilia

#2. Himalaya ( House of CREED )

#3. Comme des Garcon INCENSE series #3
"Avignon" it smells just like
a catholic church after they burn the Frankencense !!!! Totally UNIQUE !!!!!

#4. L'Occitane Vetiver !!!! YUM.
earthy but classy .

Gustavo 12/17/2004 9:04 AM
i dont know.. i really like my fahrenheit...

but.. this thing is not very exactly as we want it to be... each perfume has an unique smell for each person... not even talkin about personal taste...

dont you think?

Usama 212 rocks 12/18/2004 3:06 PM
212's the best ................
coz its soo strong so gd so awesome..........i mean u just have to smell it to fall in love wit it
TRY it seriously

Carla 12/19/2004 7:01 AM
Escada Magnetism, Jill Sander, Chemistry by Clinique and Marc Jacobs for men.
platinum egoiste and d&g 12/22/2004 3:33 PM
chanel egoiste platinum! i can't tell if it's better than chanel egoiste non plat (which is harder to find, and more of an older man smell). platinum works well on guys who don't naturally have much smell of their own. (or in my experience- tall, skinny guys). it is SO YUMMY.

oh and d&g masculin is very good too. but i always associate it with this one guy i'm not attracted to- i think this works best on those that are a bit on the trashy side (with pretensions of elegance).
1/27/2005 5:01 AM
platinum egoiste by chanel and 1881 by cerutti!

Monica Safari, by Ralph Lauren 1/28/2005 2:52 AM
For me, Safari´s scent is unbeatable.If only all men could smell like this one! Pity I cannot have it always around - my husband is allergic to perfumes...

Le Male and Joop! (the red one) are second best. But not for men - I wear them!
I like... 1/28/2005 11:56 AM
Dolce & Gabanna pour homme
Mont Blanc Individuel pour homme
Herrera for men by Carolina Herrera
what do you think about l'instant pour homme? 2/15/2005 2:12 AM
i was just wondering about whether some of you or your partners are using the new guerlain l'instant pour homme... i thought it was surprisingly very sweet...


Jazzmin I just love it... 2/16/2005 7:28 PM
the best male scent is and always will be aqua di gio..... =)

Stephanie 2/19/2005 10:02 PM
I Think D&G
and 212

Suzanne 2/20/2005 11:59 PM
another vote for acqua di parma

i wear the classic one myself...

HELENA-REET For Men 3/22/2005 1:07 PM
I like Chanel "Platinum Egoiste"!

Patricia 3/23/2005 1:26 PM
Lolita Lempicka for Men, top best...sexy...delicious...

Ulli 3/26/2005 2:23 AM
For men..there's nth better than Higher Dior and Aqua Di Gio.I really love them!

Arsalan 3/26/2005 5:02 AM
Aqua Di Gio and hugo boss i like them

Sarah 6/8/2005 7:17 AM
HhhMmmm.... I really like

1. curve (liz calirborne)
2. very sexy (victorias secret)
3. armani (armani)

seriously, any guy who uses these perfumes, automatically looks hot..lol!

Usman hummm 6/14/2005 11:40 PM
1 . Aqua di Parma
2. safarai...

Wen KenzoAir 6/19/2005 10:47 PM
i am wearing it myself, i love it!

Shama 6/21/2005 4:43 AM
Safari.....
and and and
Blue Jeans

Zuraida 6/21/2005 5:15 AM
HUGO red for men and another all time fav is cool water by davidoff

Carlinha 6/23/2005 9:21 AM
Hugo Boss and 212 Men...
issey miyake! 6/25/2005 7:50 AM
i think itz da best

...so I gave my wife the list for her to choose what she likes best on me. I'll find out on Christmas. in the meantime, feel free to share your opinions with a comment below...