fear and trembling: the ethical question

Kierkegaard's book analyzes the old testament story of Abraham and Issac. basically God told Abraham to murder his son, an indefensible, unjustified and unethical command with which he complied.

the fact that at the last moment God said "stop, I was just testing you" is irrelevant. Abraham was carrying out an act of murder and so had accepted that mindset. this submission to a perception of something greater than oneself is a scary, recognized, human trait. note "Islam" in english directly translates to "submission".

so, when God is on the line, do you take the call? have him leave a message? remember that avoidance is still a decision and if the issue is important, non-action is as serious as any action that you do...

I heard a disturbing story on "This American Life" recently. in it Alex Kotlowitz interviews a woman whose abusive father probably killed someone. she reported her suspicions to the police, but the detectives didn't pursue the matter. she let it go -- even though the guilt of not acting forcefully enough and following up with the police ate at her. years later, a review of the cold case resulted in a conviction -- of the wrong man. he spent years in prison until somehow the woman heard about him and she finally came forward with what she knew. he considers her his angel, but she still feels terrible about it.

...cut to my dream last night. I'm at work and get a phone call from a stranger -- maybe it's a wrong number, I don't know. he wants me to go meet him at the police station in 5 minutes - he needs a witness and is afraid for his life. I have no idea what is going on. he insists he needs me so the police don't beat him or shoot him. what can I do? what should I do? hang up? sorry, wrong number? I don't want to get involved? it sounds very important; my decision could have life impacting consequences.
I think...
"on what basis and with what justification are you asking this request, and how is it that you are asking this request of me and not someone else?" of course, the answers to these questions may not be enough to make the right decision... we should in any case know ourselves well enough to be prepared to make the choice. you may be selfish, you may be foolish or mixed up or even consider yourself wise and caring; whatever you honestly are, you must admit to yourself.

Bob Dylan said "you gotta serve someone". personally, I think I serve many masters. in the end they all boil down to one, but who's to say that end is ever reached?

word of the day: poignant

I've never used the word "poignant" in a sentence before. I thought about it and how it could be used. I wrote it down on a piece of paper at my nightstand and went to sleep. I then had this dream:

I've entered and sat down in a movie theater or small concert hall. on the screen a movie starts and I see that the quality is lacking; for what has been filmed is a large flat screen television. playing on the television is a older concert of some famous band doing a famous song - led zeppelin, rolling stones or the who; someone like that, but I don't remember who or what. anyway, they are playing in a burned out building. everything is charred black. an interesting effect. now my point of view changes; no longer watching a film, now I'm in the burnt building, offstage to the side, while the band keeps playing that familiar song. I'm there and walking away. I go down some burnt stairs and see that I'm on the top floor and it is the only floor burnt. apparently someone set fire to this floor and it was put out before spreading. coming up the stairs as I go down is a woman with a small child - a toddler. as he climbs the steps with her he pulls a piece of charcoal from the stair and starts chewing on it. "stop that", she tells him. "that's bad!". she looks to have had some hard times, could be a drug abuser. then I realize - the burnt out place is a hangout and she wants to party. or at least it's a familiar haunt and now she needs a place to stay... flashback to her home the day before. with a probably abusive boyfriend (the father?), she is on the verge of leaving him. some sort of event (4th of July?) is going on and the guy is concerned about his dog - a big furry chow, st. bernard, or sheepdog type mutt. he's concerned that the noises will give the dog a heart attack. sure enough, something happens and the huge dog keels over, dead. problem is it lands on the baby. he's ok, but could have been practically smothered and crushed by the animal. and the guy is screaming about his dead dog. that's why they left...

did I do it? was there some poignancy in my little story? did you feel something reading it or was it just a fleeting sensory description?